Tuesday, 9 December 2014

Being a targeted Clown


Getting married and then scuttling of abroad to join hubby ,I had looked forward for a blissful life.Watching so many movies ,my dreams was just colorful.  But every rose had thorns in it.

Cooking was not my cup of tea.Though not a good cook , I had tried all efforts to make it fine. 



Wanted everyone to have what I made and was an enemy of throwing away food. His friends was there every day for dinner, I was only happy to serve.

Visiting a family to congratulate on their baby's arrival , I got the first shock of my life, when every one sat around me and made a mockery of my cooking. Tears were welling up in my eyes , but sadly no one knew. I try to put a brave front but it was something , I could't. Thankfully, I didn't make a scene there, reaching the car I sat silently crying ,when every one was chattering away.

After a few visits to some friends house , I knew I was becoming a clown where everyone pokes fun at.They all made mockery of me and enjoyed, even he didn't realize I was breaking .The ladies who cooked was feeling proud as if they have put together a Taj menu . I used to stare at their eyes feeling how happy they are, not because I am sad, feeling proud at their creativity. I glanced at my husband and his friends thinking did they ever realize , the person who they are teasing is the one who gets up at 4 am to cook for them, who makes sure that they have food even though they turn up at 11 pm, waiting for them.Did they ever think that I too was a human being, I too have a heart and it gets hurt. Ooph! no one knew.They were enjoying and trying to establish themselves as the best conversationalist, though I knew they were just jerks.

Recently,a new family landed up for sharing.I was happy as I got a new friend thinking  I was not alone at that house when hubby turns up late night. The girl was a newly married one was taking her baby steps in cooking, to encourage her again I was targeted.I realized even the  cooked rice I made was disgusting . do you know even boiling water and rice that was a good recipe and they simply said that , they were just coping up with my food.Everyone around the table were laughing at me and saying now they can have good food.I couldn't swallow my food ,though I kept a plastic smile on my face , I wanted to leave the table but didn't,  the couple may feel bad.I sat thinking to encourage her why do they have to trample me.Why couldn't they just say she cooks well.Why its me always? Even I reached here as newly wed last year , has anyone thought of this. 

Slowly ,I got up and left the table. I cried a lot and then decided enough was enough.I confronted my hubby and told I can't go on like this, I am standing this mockery for the past 1 year and am not going to handle this anymore. You people can have food from hotel. He just looked at me and said we were just joking, why are you taking this seriously.

My god!  Don't these craps have a mind, can some one just joke on the same thing everyday for the past 365 days and still laugh.
Hell Man!!!!

I sat on the bed just staring at the wall.What should I do.Should I just make a habit of brushing of these incidents everyday or should I stop sitting at the table for dinner, I just don't know.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

A Muslim Balika Vadhu

Anaima was a brilliant and studious 13 yr old, born in a malabar muslim conservative family. She wanted to become a doctor as her village lacked one. She spend her time only with books or in tuitions.Nothing else was a matter of concern for her.

From the past  few days she saw a guy around the age of 22 standing outside her school gates and staring at her. She had seen him with her elder brother  once or twice and knew he was a school drop out .

Days flew by and one fine day , he came and proposed her. As by her nature she directly refused ,little did she know that was the end to her dreams.

Next day , he came with his friends and started a verbal argument with her. She shouted at them and walked away.Angered , the guy threw a stone at her.

She went home crying and told everything to her Umma. Within another half an hour relatives gathered at home and every one of them had one or other opinion.

Father's friend brought a proposal from a guy from the nearby village. The guy was a barber .Anaima's repeated pleas fell  on deaf ears and within a week she was send off married to Hakeem.

Years later when I met her sister in law , she informed that now Anaima is a mother of 4 kids and a full time housewife.Shahina, her sister-in-law herself an electronics engineer had admonished Anaima for making a piece of stone to ruin her career.With tears in eyes she had  hugged her SIL and told had you been in my life at that time , I would have been a doctor now.Now I have to make Fatima (her daughter ) a doctor, what else can I do.

Eve-teasing has ruined many girls life.With this real life incident , I am requesting every mother to teach their son to respect woman and give courage to their daughters to face any situation boldly.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Drinks that welcomed an Indian bride


I had a perfect arranged marriage, where we both were just dummies and parents finalized everything.Though telephonic conversation of  7 months, I didn't get to know anything much about him.

After marriage , on the way to their home, I felt very uneasy . Brought in a metropolitan city ,  I was familiar with lots of building and traffic, but here I was being taken deeper into a jungle. I can only see trees and hills . Very nervously I sat and just glanced at the stranger with me,my husband. He seemed least perturbed and showing no signs of emotions , sat chatting with his brother in law.

A fear gripped in my heart , where am I taken to . My cell was with my brother and I was alone with a complete bunch of strangers.

Nearing his house, I got a bit of relief , there were houses nearby and lot of people gathered to welcome me. 

I entered the house with the lamp ,as per our custom and walked toward the pooja room. Since it was old house , I had to walk along a dark corridor which leads to the pooja room. Keeping the lamp in front of diety, I looked in to room where I am going to stay.I was escorted in by his relatives after some time, they left . His sister asked me to close the room .Though I felt something fishy , I did as she told.

After sometime , i heard noises from the other room some men were invited to drink . Utter shocked I just sat still in bed , my eyes brimming with tears cursing my parents where the hell did  they send me. 

Coming from a very disciplined family , I never seen my family members drinking or smoking. I grew up with that notion that it not good in our Indian Culture.

After half an hour my hubby came in, looking at me he asked me what happened . I told nothing. I looked at him and enquired when my parents are coming. As a part of the culture , they have to visit the grooms house after sending their daughter.He said get ready they will reach now.

My mother entered the room and instantly knew I was disturbed. I took her aside and told they drink here. Grinning from ear to ear she told, they stay in the hills and its a part of their culture.

I stood staring at her not knowing what to say , I knew my journey in this new life will not be  a bed of roses.An entirely new way of culture was waiting to engulf me.

Sunday, 2 November 2014

A Mystic mind

My usual hobby is to find if Telepathy works. I sit faraway and try if my father will turn his head to watch me and mostly he does.

This was my great work in college days, make the guy whom I had a crush to turn, though this very rarely happens.I just pass him without him noticing , expecting him to notice but as he was the college heart throb , he never knew I existed in this world. 

Getting married , I tried to do the same with my Husband . When we were in a shopping mall, I expected him to turn towards me but he was busy staring at some ultra modern chick out there.

I even have another way of this Telepathy , if that person loves me then he will do the thing I had in mind. So to test it on my hubby , I just  thought will he bring the plate which he was eating towards me (Usually he gives it ). And to add to my bitterness , that day he kept on the dining table and left. I stood simply staring at the plate,what should I take this sign as.Is this simply your mind making a fool of you or is hubby just living with me since we were tied up in an traditional arranged marriage.

That thought is digging into my mind even though I brush it off. 

Send me your comments


Wednesday, 20 August 2014

A little bit of Jaggery's side effects

Good Morning!!!!!

I had been to the Jamaiyah for getting a  load of vegetables. Bitter gourd  was something I detest, hubby's liking to that made me go for it.

Reaching home, I surfed through the net for a new recipe. Got a good  tamilian pavakka puli curry .Felt will surprise him today.

Evening,hubby and his friend was busy in their SAP online class. I had chronic pain in my knees but the interest to cook something newmade me keep that aside .After a 2 hrs of turmoil and pain , I completed the cooking . Hus friend asked me if I was cooking something special.I answered him saying that was bitter gourd.  He knew my hatred towards pavakka and suggested to add a bit of jaggery to ward of the bitter taste.

I added a bit of that , a lol behold hubby turned the house upside down saying he doesn't want food as I am doing what ever I wished and lots more.I simply stared at him and sat silently.

We had the supper with him eating the rice with curd and I with bitter gourd curry.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

http://www.powtoon.com/p/cojgOg7ThBU/

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Irreparable Loss when death snatches away some of our favourites

Anirudhan maman sitting on the fence stone under the lamp post was my memories of that strict but a man full of love.My childhood vacations was mostly spend in their house . A very warm smile and eyes showing full of happiness was a very welcoming sight, when we climb down the hill towards their home.

A man of few words but limitless love was the man I remember. He had his shades of grey character but that didn't deter us children from reaching out to him. He rarely express his mind but we could read it.He was a man who born in rich aristocratic family but ended up with nothing because of his vagabond ways. Appachi used to get pissed off with the sight of him since he never fulfilled his duties as a husband .His children loved him but was angry with him for not making them accomplishing their dream.He was a father who rarely praises , who just helps them only at the nick of time , they had their endless woes but I liked him . Though there was times when we had to stay on the ration food at his house but I preferred it than the luxuries elsewhere. He just watches from far when we play or work but his eyes watching our every movement and when in trouble he was there. My mother liked him , she usually doesn't like drunkards ,saying there is a very sweet personality below that rough  grim exterior. He  smiles  and says a few words to help her forget her sorrows but that was what my mother wanted at times than her other co-brothers who kept a plastic smile.

My father rung up to tell he passed away. Though he told it casually as I had already knew he was having blood cancer, I never expected he will leave us so fast. I kept my voice under control but my eyes was brimming feeling that irreparable loss or as my brother said 'the one and only good person in my father's family has left'.

Leaving from office , hubby went out with his friend and I lay down on the bed thinking of all the sweet things that happened in my life associated with him, my pillow was wet when I got back my controls. Hubby entered the room staring at me , saying some sweet things to change my mood but he was some one I can't replace, Hus never had known I had loved this man that much.

Monday, 28 April 2014

Transformation from Daughter in law to an abandoned soul


As what happens in most of Indian families, hubby left for his gulf job within 20 days after we tied the knot.As by the custom ,I stayed back in his parents house.I behaved with them as I would have with my parents little realizing that I was inviting trouble.

We had gone to visit a relative who was keeping unwell.Brought up in metro city , I sat in the living room as usual .Father in law asked me to get up and sit with the other ladies in Kitchen.I got up and left.

After reaching home that night, he blasted me saying my parents hasn't brought me up properly.I have no manners , I am not behaving like a woman and all the crap.I have to take care of his wife .He kept on ordering me the list of duties that i should do.I just stared at him,thinking am I married of to a 16th century family.I silently heard all these,but I felt like asking why cant you accept the daughter in law as your daughter.

That incident gave a tremendous impact on my life,I started my first steps to isolate myself from the In-law folks.One incident lead to another ,now I rarely talk to them.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Wasted 2 solid years


A page from a married lady's diary

My marriage was an arranged one with future in laws asking for a lump sum dowry.Till the last 2 weeks of marriage they gave a good image as sweet people and then asked for dowry .My father some how managed to give that.

From the day one they kept on taunting to get more from my parents i.e dowry in what ever items they can like furniture, dresses etc.My family kept on giving them. Fed up with their taunts and greediness , I went back home ,only to return when I got the green signal to join husband abroad.

On reaching back the in law home which I affectionately call THE DRACULA's BUNGALOW  ,they continued their crap of insulting , taunting etc.They made me go back home to get a gold chain which I left at home .Those days of torture ,sleepless nights makes me weep even now.

After reaching UK , I thought will change my husband's greediness, help him to be a good human being.Past 1.5 yr I kept on advising him to change his cannibal ways of life , to respect fellow beings, care for others, be polite etc.

Yesterday on the day of our wedding anniversary ,I knew my past 2 yrs had gone waste.He was sitting in front of the desk counting the gold ornaments that I had got ,turned and said you didn't give me the said amount.I sat crying into my blanket remembering the words he had once spoken when I told his parents treatment towards me....

" I didnt marry you for the gold and I don't care about it"

Now I knew somethings cannot be changed!!!

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

In Kerala, Rehabilitated Killer Nurtures Mentally Challenged




I felt to share this.....one wonderful piece of info from a killer turned saint

Vasudeva Panicker, 61, is a mild-mannered watchman of a shelter for the mentally challenged at Punnapra, in Alappuzha district in southern Kerala. In his youth, Mr. Panicker was a soldier in the Indian Army. One day he returned home from his battalion to discover that his wife had run away with a lover. Enraged, Mr. Panicker stabbed his mother-in-law to death. He served 14 years in prison for the murder.

“I decided to hire him because he reminded me of myself,” said Albin Mathew, 62, the founder of the shelter Santhi Bhavan Sarvodaya. “I am a murderer as well.”

The shelter is located on a clearing by the railway tracks passing through Punnapra. In a large dormitory-style hall, a man lay on his face on the floor, his body twitching uncontrollably. Another man laughed suddenly. Many stared vacantly. A few had grizzled beards. A gray-haired woman cried. In a kitchen beside the hall, Mr. Mathew’s wife, Mary, who wore a blue sari, stirred rice in a large pot with a ladle. Outside, in a spacious courtyard, Mr. Matthew had built six huts with asbestos roofs and some bathrooms.

The shelter’s residents include Malayalis, the word for the residents of Kerala, but also men and women from other parts of India – Uttar Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra and Delhi. Their families had abandoned most of them because of their mental illness. Many were offloaded after being found traveling without a ticket on a train that stopped at the town of Alappuzha, a few kilometers from the shelter.

“I bring them to Santhi Bhavan because it is a home for poor people,” said Mr. Mathew.

Isram, a resident of the shelter, used to live in New Delhi. One day, he slipped while crossing railway tracks and a train ran over his legs. His family threw him out. He began losing his mental equilibrium and climbed onto a train leaving Delhi. He ended up at Alappuzha. Mr. Mathew saw him at a bus stop and brought him to the shelter.

Over the years, some of the residents show signs of improvement. Mr. Matthew teaches the recovering men and women to make paper packets, which are sold to the nearby shops. The modest earnings support the shelter, as do donations from ordinary citizens.

“People give whatever they can spare,” Mr. Matthew said. “At times, it is old clothes. At times, it is food.

“It is a miracle,” he added. “We have always been able to meet the daily expenses of 15,000 Rupees [$250].”

The expenditure includes food, medicines, electricity and water bills. Mr. Matthew remains thankful to the people of Alappuzha.

A houseboat in the backwaters of Alappuzha, Kerala on Dec. 29, 2006.
Christophe Archambault/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images
A houseboat in the backwaters of Alappuzha, Kerala on Dec. 29, 2006.
Alappuzha is a coastal town of lush paddy fields and coconut groves in southern Kerala, around 39 miles from the city of Kochi. Several canals and streams cross the town. Most people make a living farming and fishing. After several hours at the shelter, I walked with Mr. Mathew along a narrow road to a beach. On the shore, fishermen on a wooden boat sewed up holes in nets with long needles. They exchanged greetings with Mr. Mathew. We sat on the sand in a grove of eucalyptus trees, whose leaves moved in a soothing breeze.

Mr. Mathew recalled his long journey to becoming the man who managed the shelter for the mentally ill. In the early 1980s, Mr. Mathew worked as a muscleman for a political party, which he refused to name for the fear of retaliation. One evening in 1982, Mr. Mathew was drinking a glass of toddy, a local alcoholic drink, in a shop in Punnapra. He was gaining notoriety and influence as an enforcer for his party.

His rise rankled Kritav Podiyan, another enforcer of the party. Mr. Podiyan walked into the toddy shop to put Mr. Mathew in his place.

The two men had a heated exchange. Mr. Podiyan hit Mr. Mathew in his ribs with the wooden handle of a long, curved knife. Mr. Mathew took out his knife and drove it into Mr. Podiyan’s heart.

A crowd had gathered outside. Mr. Podiyan bled on the shop floor. A few men stepped forward to help the dying man.

“If anybody takes another step, I will kill him,” Mr. Mathew threatened. The crowd stepped back. Mr. Podiyan pleaded for water. Mr. Mathew placed a glass of toddy next to his mouth. “He took three sips of toddy before he died,” Mr. Mathew recalled. “He would have killed me if I hadn’t killed him.”

The murder of Mr. Podiyan cemented Mr. Mathew’s reputation for violence and established his authority as an enforcer in Punnapra. He deployed violence against anyone if he was paid a few thousand rupees by a rival.

“The party would ask me to get rid of people who were creating problems,” Mr. Mathew recalled. “Violence and threats seemed to be the way to settle disputes. The courts took years. People would lose patience and come to us.”

At a certain point, the villagers got tired of Mr. Mathew’s intimidation. One day, when Mr. Mathew was standing alone near a church, a mob encircled him. The villagers attacked him with iron rods, broke his hands, his legs, and smashed his face. They left him for dead.

The police arrived and took him to a hospital. He regained consciousness after three days and spat blood for weeks.

“It was a time of great turmoil. I felt that there was no point to live,” said Mr. Mathew. “I had become a beast.”

A month later, Mr. Mathew returned home from the hospital. His wife, Mary, had been working as a maid for their neighbors to support their three children. The Alapuzzha area has a strong Christian community with an active church. Mr. Mathew was battling depression. Two nuns came to visit him and consoled him.

“You are going to have a new life,” said one of the nuns. “You must confess your sins and go to the church.” Mr. Mathew felt the need for divine intervention. They called a priest.

Father Dhiraj, a priest from the Indian Mission Society church, arrived. Mr. Mathew confessed for an hour.

“I felt a tremendous sense of relief,” Mr. Mathew said. He wanted to live again. The priest advised him to pray for the people he had harmed.

A few months later, Mr. Mathew had recovered from his injuries. But the law of the land caught up with him. In April 1984, he was imprisoned for 12 years for the murder of Mr. Podiyan and other assaults.

“When I was convicted, my friends, my relatives and my party abandoned me,” Mr. Mathew recalled. “I was alone.”

In prison, Mr. Mathew renewed his allegiance to the church and became a devout Christian. The long prison years allowed him to examine his life. Mr. Mathew was just 11 years old when his father, a fisherman, was found murdered, having been killed by unknown people on a beach at Alappuzha. Ten years later, Mr. Mathew’s younger brother, Jacob Mathew, was killed by his in-laws. They accused the younger Mr. Mathew of beating up his pregnant wife.

“Jacob’s death made me furious,” said Mr. Mathew. “That was when I took to violence.” One day in prison, Mr. Mathew made a decision. “When I am released, I will be a boon to society instead of being a curse,” he vowed.

On the Indian Republic Day on Jan. 26, 1997, Mr. Mathew was one of 446 offenders in Kerala released from a prison in the capital, Thiruvananthapuram, after being pardoned by the then chief minister of the state, E.K. Nayanar. Mr. Mathew returned to Alappuzha. A few days after his return, he met a priest.

The priest advised him to overcome his reputation as a violent man and a convicted murderer by changing the way the townsfolk saw him. He advised Mr. Mathew to wear the robes of a priest. He followed the priest’s advice and changed into a saffron kurta, a sarong, and wore a rosary around his neck. Mr. Mathew continues to wear the robes.

One morning in 1997, while Mr. Mathew was wandering about, he spotted a deranged man with unkempt hair, a thick beard and dirty clothes.

“I decided to look after him, and took a house on rent,” he recalled. “I shaved his face, cut his hair, gave him a bath, and got him some clothes.” As days passed, Mr. Mathew found other abandoned, mentally ill men and women. He brought them to his shelter.

Mr. Mathew lives on the shelter premises with his wife in a thatched hut. He still wears the robes. His violent past is a distant memory, a lesson. “Those who live by the sword will die by it. There are no gains through violence,” said Mr. Mathew. “There is no peace of mind when you kill a person or cut off his limbs.”

Thursday, 10 April 2014

An Hour of Nightmare




Casually I called home to speak to my mother and even to admonish her for not wishing me on my wedding anniversary.Our maid lifted the phone.

I asked if Amma is there. She started fumbling about.I could feel the panic in her voice.I knew something was not right.Pestered her for a while and she revealed Amma is in hospital .She had a nose bleed.

I could feel my fingers going numb,Laxmi was explaining what had happened.Iwas not able to understand what she was speaking.She told to call up in Acchan s cell.

I dialed acchan. Hoping , praying just two hear my amma's voice .Just to soothe my nerves which I felt was sticking out from everywhere.For nearly 45 min I kept on dialing my father, he was not attending.I knew the value of every minute that passed by .My BP was rising.Lost all hopes to contact,I dialed my uncle's number.That was a blessing , he attended and said my mother was just down with sinus.

Felt a heavy stone being removed from my chest, I leaned back on my chair to relax. Thanking all the god(s) in the process.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Sambar a day can keep the hubby away




Rushing back from office I went to kitchen , was already late for the evening meals.I washed the dhal and kept for 2 whistles to fly by.Hurried with the veggies and thought to lie down for a while.That cost it ,slept about half an hour .

Result: A burnt dhal

Absent mindly , I put the veggies along with the powders,cooked the sambar. After tempering ,I laid the table for dinner.

Hubby and his friends started their dinner,the burnt smell gave a thumbs up for them to tease me .I waited for a while for them to be quiet.no avail ,that teasing lasted for 2 days, from home to office and even every occasion where am present.

Now the after effects of burnt sambar ,am so pissed with my hubby doesn't look eye to eye.

Monday, 24 March 2014

FIrst impression is the best impression!!!

Every girl dreams of a peacefull married life and imagine when this turns upside down.My hopes came shattering down when I got the blasting from my father in law for sitting in the living room of a relative's house.In this 21st century , he says ladies are not allowed to sit there , place reserved for men.

I felt tears stinging at the back of my eyes, brought up in a very modern outlook ,this was intolerable.Pouring my heart to my hubby,I asked him why his father is behaving like this. Answer which I got was a deadly shock.What his father told was right,was the answer!!!!
I looked at the man standing next to me , wearing the branded shirt and a baggy jeans was a real village cougar.

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Working in a Hell in Kuwait


An unwanted rule by the kuwait govt stating that its illegal for people on family visa to work for 1yr, made me opt for a job in my hubby's company. Kuwait cost of living was too high with hubby's salary we were living neck to neck, hence had to jump into this decision.

Salary of meagre 250kd was that they had offered and as it is a temporary job, I never bothered about it.As a month passed by the HR starting showing the true colours. Any national Holiday ,my salary for those days was deducted .It seems I will be paid only for the days I attended and they gave an extra salary for friday and saturday which was weekly off here.

After a few fights back I accepted it .After 2 or 3 months tenure and they threw me out of job saying ,that thEy dont want me here any more as my job is over.Looking at the pile of pending works in front of my table ,smiling in my heart I went home.

After 2 weeks they called back asking me to rejoin.Due to my visa status , I had no other option of a getting a better job came back to the same pit.This time HR had another tailor made plan,my friday-saturday salary was deducted but the daily wage will be calculated with the 30 days of a month i.e my salary landed to 150kd per month.

Insults over Insults was my life in its beginning stage at kuwait and am standing helpless.

Monday, 3 March 2014

Mata Amritandamayi- New news from Hell


Suresh Ammavan, an ardent follower of Amma had told me so many stories ,I mean facts that happened in his life due to mata amritandamayi.He says she has the cure for all his mishaps (he had a devastating bus accident few years earlier), his new job, his happy family life etc.Following his steps I went to meet amma on a sunny day in May 2010 along with my cousin. Hell lot of people were assembled there due to her tight schedule of just 2 days at Kochi ,we got token for darshan at around 2 am .

Reaching the grounds on the previous day at 9 am ,spending all the day and right through the night ,I was exhausted but excited to meet her.Watching all the calm and peacefull atmosphere I felt somethings are fine here at someplaces in the world.So much people together and not a wee bit of commotion was a good sight to the eyes and music to the ears.

Sitting in the gallery watching amma and also singing with her, we spend most of the day.Ammavan was telling some experience when he had visited Amma with his sisters.My aunt was 70% deaf and during her embrace of amma ,she was able to clearly hear what amma was saying.My mother was kneeling just behind kunjamma but she couldnt hear a word what was said.After alighting from the stage , she asked my mother 'did you hear what amma told me'.my mother blinked and told 'did she tell you something'.Kunjamma just giggled and replied 'yes' with a twinkle in her eyes.This was astonishing since we had to scream so much to make ourselves audible to her.

Another incident was my uncle in his another previous visit had stared at amma thinking of the cost of saree she wore.As if reading his mind she gave a stare at him from nearly a long distance and at once he came back to his senses.

Standing in the queue for her embrace ,I watched the gracefull Bharathnatyam by a young African girl dedicated wholly to Amma.Nearing Amma, the volunteers wiped my face so that my sweat does'nt dirty mata. I knelt down for her embrace and she just hugged me saying "ponnumole,ponnumole". I was suprised as after which I felt so many tensions relieved with that hug .Giggling with my cousin we climbed down the stairs and headed home.

But yesterday, when I went through Gail Tredwells Book Holy Hell: A Memoir of Faith, Devotion, and Pure Madness,I am not able to come in terms with what was written in it.Was my experience of happiness simply a day dreamers misconception.Was amma so cruel and betraying . With a sense of full confusion ,I stopped reading the book half way through and closed my eyes praying what Gail wrote should never be true.

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

The Pregnant Illiterate Woman



My neighbour, Sangeetha is pregnant with her second child. She has nausea and vomiting.She sleeps for long and rarely sits on her bed too, all the while just sleeping.Due to this, consuming food was her last option.

She was 18 when she was carrying her first child.A weak and underdeveloped body of her's doctor had to administer so much medicines to save the child. God's grace she had a beautifull, healthy girl child, Ananya.

This time without eating needed food , doc has said she will have to abort the child if sangi remains unhealthy. We tried our level best to make her realise the importance of nutritious food for a growing baby in her womb.She is adamant on the fact that doc didn't prescribe medicines ,she is useless. She says the doc has to give injection , prescribe medicines for the baby ,nothing to do with food. She is questioning how did she carry on with her first pregnancy in India. We have lsot all hopes to make her come to her senses.

I used to read about the Asha workers going about teaching the pregnant ladies at villages, the importance of the nutritions.I never thought that was a big job ,now am realising the value of the last grade of Medical field's cumbersome efforts behind every healthy pregnancy in India.

Sunday, 23 February 2014

Chinese who don't know Hindi



Jumbling with the office keys,I some how opened the door and reached my seat.Following me some of the company drivers entered.

Kishan,the General Supervisor instructed Nahim , an Indian driver to ask the chinese technicians to give the report which has to be submitted to the head office.

Nahim was a true Indian,he didnt know any other language other than Hindi.He held his head high and asked them "Papers khidar hey."

They just stood staring at him as if he was from the moon.Nahim got irritated and started shouting at them "Khidar se ayya hey ,hindi bee nahin mallum .Kay chinese hain ,hindi nahi athe .Abhi kya karrooon maein." Hearing this the chinese technicians burst out laughing .Sahking his head, Kishan interwened and got the papers for Nahim.

With the papers in hand Nahim walked off in a huff.All in office had an hearty laugh. A good morning to begin with.

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

The idiot box ....missing from my life


I am a tv maniac and ends up hours in front of that........

My father used to comment when my daughter is tired of watching TV , she reads her books while the whole world does the other way .

Getting married , I thought much changes wont happen, I took life to be fully positive.

Entering the new marital home,my mother in law gave me a strict order not to watch TV with my father in law , HE DOESNT LIKE ITt. You will feel this to be weird , even I felt the same but that was the truth.he hated anyone watching TV with him. THE middle class ones, we cant afford another one.

After a yr TV less toil in laws house landed in Dubai and lo!!!! hubby told I will grow lazy if I watch tv.He was upbringing me while I thought I was married to him.He was my mentor not life partner.

Accepting this twist in tale ,I was happy when in his friends room they took cable.Ok now I can watch atleast an hour when am there.Suddenly they stopped watching TV during dinner time as its not good for health, and the most funniest thing is that I go to their house only at Dinner time since we dine together .

That sweet idiot box left my life in this 21st century.......Hope I was born in 10 th century bcos I am still living there.......

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Silent Life


He was disturbed for a reason that I dont know.Pacing up and down in his room,I felt like asking him was anything wrong.Guts didnt pile up for the same.I glanced at him and went away to the other room .

Half an hour latter , he pushed the door open and shouted TEA.

I got up and made one.Pestering him to talk ,I tried a few ways nothing worked .I went back to the other room.

My day ended with ending the tutitions of Shangi and retiring to bed.

Only 2 months left for 2nd wedding anniversary,we have grown far apart. I had read these lines somewhere
"What mystery is this that we are living
Parallel lives
Two train tracks that never meet"

Monday, 3 February 2014

Hubby goes mad


Puffs of nearly a dozen cigrattes in bathroom made me think ...is this guy nuts.


After mumbling some thing in his mouth, laid down on his bed for a sleep.Uncomfortably I slept on the other side of the king size bed.Shifting uneasily some how I got sleep.

At dinner time,we had dinner and when I reached the bedroom door ,he banged the door on my face saying ......GET LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, 2 February 2014

What is wrong with my hubby

After my birthday bash I was lounging in the sofa when my friend told me to accompany her for her daughters PTA meeting to be held on the next day. She was speaking in telugu ,my hus cant understand that language hopefully I know.I translated that to him and he told fine and I nodded an yes to her.

He was his usual self after she left and waving to me happily ,he left for his office the next day while I left with my friend to the school.
Returning back I went with her to meet a guy ,our mutual friend.His daughter was getting married and he wanted to purchase gold .

The friend called up both our hubby's and they gave green signal to help him in his purchase.

Evening I returned home to find my hubby sitting with a long face and I sat wondering why??????????
After a lot of pestering,He started screaming his throat out saying I go where ever I want and he is fed up with that.

Can you help me out , how to deal with this man

Sunday, 26 January 2014

Sweet Love from MICA


As soon as we get the teenager tag, every guy and girl dream of meeting the destined one with all the innocence without demarcating any caste , creed or religion. When or how do we meet the person, god only knows .
Rohan had woken up hearing his mother’s voice commanding him to the breakfast table. half sleepy he stared at the grandfather’s clock, it was quarter to eleven.

‘God ,what was wrong with amma, I usually get up around this time.Then why is she screaming. Oh! Maybe some errand ,no way’
After a quick shower ,Rohan finally reached the table. An envelope was waiting for him,’ Rohan Sreedharan’ the letter read.


‘Who the hell was going to send me a letter that to a registered one’ Rohan thought as he opened it. That was the call letter from India’s top management Institute. He had cleared all boundary’s to make it to MICA. He flew into the kitchen and hugged his mother . Suseela was all tears ‘Yes you made it. I am proud of you’
Hearing the commotion, Mr Sreedharan walked into the kitchen, Suseela briefed him on the developments.
‘I had seen the envelope in the letter box ,w hen I went to take the newspaper.You people could have atleast peeped into the box yesterday’ The over disciplinarian grunted. Sreedharan hid his happiness in all the ways he can. He was the strict father.
‘Mone, congratzs .Hope you come out with flying colours otherwise it’s tough to get a decent job nowadays. What’s the specialization you are planning to take.’
‘Financial Management’
‘Good,I think it has good prospects. When should you reach there. I have to apply for atleast 2 days leave. Buy a good suit at woodlands. Here take this.’ He handed over a credit card. Rohan snatched the card and flew to his room.
He was happy for many things. First, He got admission to MICA, Second , His emotionless father congratulated him, third , He got the credit card.
‘Rohan , what is happening in your life’ Rohan was speaking to himself looking into the mirror.
Beaming with joy he called up his best friend, Renjith.
Renjith was besides himself with joy. He had to drop his schooling during the higher secondary due to family problems. .Since he realised what education is he was hell bend in making Rohan an MBA or else to put into his word ‘something educated’. He was the one who literally pushed Rohan to achieve all this.
Acchan and Rohan landed in Ahemadabad on Monday, 12 July. On reaching the campus , they found a jam packed university grounds. Lot of students from every corner of India had landed up there. Parents walked about head held up high, Their kid had made to this prestigious institution , why should they bend their head, obviously.
Rohan went in to the office for the final formalities .Sreedharan moved about and found a lonely man sitting gazing across the lawns.He seemed lost in thought. Sreedharan went and sat next to him.After an introduction to the Bengali man,Mr Chatterjee, whose daughter too had made it to this organization ,Acchan asked ‘Aap ,kush hey na’ in his battered hindi.
‘Jee , may kush hum par....’
Again that man seemed disturbed.
‘Ya , am happy but my daughter is stepping out of the house to such a long distance for the first time.She is my only kid.’
‘oh’
‘Mr Chatterjee, don’t worry , my son Rohan has also joined here. I will introduce him to u . He can be sought for any help needed.’
‘Thank you, Mr Sreedharan.’ The quiet man quipped
‘My daughter is taking FM . ‘
‘My son also.’
An hour or two passed by .Rohan came out first saying all the procedures are over . Classes will begin on August 2nd .
‘Accha, here it is compulsory to stay in hostel. So I paid for that too.’
‘Sheri, this is Mr Chatterjee . Her daughter too has joined here. That child is staying away from home for the first time, so you help her out if needed.’
‘Here comes Ankita. Rohan, this is my daughter. Please assist her if needed’ the over concerned father told him. Ankita gave annoyed look at her father and then smiled at both the father and son.
Rohan took a full survey of Ankita. She was 5’6” tall, black hair slightly coloured , beautiful brown eyes and a perfect smile. She carried herself very smartly. In a black tights and biege kurti ,she looked very cool .
‘Sure uncle, Ankita what’s your stream. I have joined FM.’
‘Me too FM .Nice to meet you.’ Ankita told
After some formal talks they waved goodbye and headed back to their homes.

Rohan joined the hostel on August 1st evening. This time amma had also accompanied them. After a bit of shopping , Rohan returned to hostel and parents back to Kerala.
There was a circular on the notice board asking the fresher’s to come to assembly hall by 10 am. The principal, Mr Sharma wanted to meet them.
Morning, Rohan along with his roommates headed for the hall.He spotted Ankita in the corner of the ladies section. She had made a good amount of friends. She wore a jeans and a tight T shirt with blazers. Rohan moved to the front row, hoping she glances at him. She didn’t notice. Princi began the lecture gracefully welcoming them to MICA and ended the meeting with a list of Do’s and Don’ts @ the Management House.
Rohan walked back to the classroom with his eyes on Ankita.He felt his heart miss a beat .He was getting attracted to her. During the days after he met her for the first time,his memories was laden with her thoughts. He had brushed aside the thoughts thinking that was unnecessary stuff but today he felt a nag in his heart.
The first hour lecture was by Mrs Victoria about the Management concepts. Ankita no now she is my Apps! Rohan thought, Ankita was sitting in the first bench to the extreme end.
He was wondering when his feelings changed . She was everywhere with him. He was missing her .Was this love at first sight. He had kept a control over his emotions when at home but at times dreams of her made his mother feel that something is wrong with her son. At times her questioning by rising the eye brow made him conscious, that he was day dreaming.
A jolt brought him back to the reality , he was in Mrs Victoria’s class. She was answering a question asked by Samsheer.First day, First class and Mr Doubtmaster. Some people never grow.Dude this is MICA!
As we packed, I saw a pair of eyes watching me. My !!! that was Ankita.She turned back as soon as I saw her.
1st semester went by with not much of hype . I was not sure of her feelings as yet but had doubts and felt she was interested.
Second semester began by January 15th .Running to the class I waited to get a glimpse of my rajkumari. She didn’t come. My day passed by with eyes on the door, waiting, any time she may walk in with some apologies to the lecturer.
Samsheer, my friend or else our common friend saw my dilemma and informed that she is extended her holidays for a week as it was her cousin’s marriage.
‘Are you not in her FB . She had posted the event. Didn’t she call u.’
Indeed I was in FB but never ever send her a request. Rohan ,the blender ,as friends call him, was shying away for the first time , was this you call love.
Rohan went to his room and browsed through the common photos taken during class hours. He sat thinking of all the events that had happened. At times he felt she reciprocated the same feelings but was not positive.
After a week, Apps landed in class.She was giving her friends the gushy gushy talks of the wedding but all the while she had her eyes on the door.
‘Where is he .Didnt he come back from the holidays .I missed him. I thought he would have proposed on the day one. Look at him. Hmmm, whatever it is’ I love him’. Hope, he has the guts to propose instead of this deadly smile. My! he is so handsome. Is he having any girlfriend in kerala. No , I will kill him if he does.’
With all these thoughts she turned to the door. He was standing there with a broad smile. She wanted to run and hug him. But kept that feelings to herself and waved a hi. Rohan was on cloud nine .He beamed and waved back.
He came near her desk ‘How was the marriage. Hope you enjoyed. It was boring in class without your laughter.’
She smiled ‘Ya was fine.I too missed my college’Rohan smiled and went back to his desk
‘Very diplomatic Apps but portrayed your feelings . I hope he understood”
Thats was Shameena. She got a ‘You knew it ‘look from Ankita.
‘How many more days are you both going to play this cat and mouse game. Can’t one of you propose.’
‘let him do it’
“Your wish .Don’t miss him.He is a gem of a person.Very helpfull,caring... ‘
‘How do you know. Did you speak to him before.’ Jealousy pranged in Apps.
‘Hostel guys said. He helps a lot and is very kind. They were coached during exams sitting late nights. He handles any problems and is an outright helper.’
‘Oh , thats all’. Smiling to herself she left Shameena and marched to the library as that was a leisure class, means no teacher,Ms Rajani,FM lecturer was on leave.
Days flew by . The valentine’s day was round the corner. Shamsheer invited Rohan to the common party on the night of valentine day ,Feb 14.It had Apps in it.
Rohan wore a black Jeans and a casual T shirt. They reached the venue at 8 pm as usual late thought Apps. A single round of drinks was over.
When the second round was over, Rohan asked Apps to give him company on the dance floor. She readily got up. Drinks worked, she just jumped to the offer otherwise she would have made him plead.
On the dance floor, they both seemed to be lost in each other.Rohan moved forward and without any other thought told the magical words”I LOVE YOU” For a second Ankita stared at him and then blacked out. She was too intoxicated.
After a few sips of lemon juice, she just could n’t keep her eyes open any more. The party got over without much of hype.
Next day in class. Rohan reached half an hour before. Apps was nowhere in sight. She reached two minutes before Ms Rajani made to the teaching table.Without even a glance at Rohan she sat at her desk for the next one hour.Rohan sat wondering did he make a mistake, was she not interested.
Three days went by. Apps remained silent , not much of laughter,talks anything. Shammena came over to Rohan’ s desk.
‘She feels awkward as she made a fool of herself in the dance floor’
‘But I...’
‘You speak to her. She will feel better’’ Saying this Shameena walked off.
Rohan got up from his desk .Apps understood his move , she got up glanced at him and walked off. He stood still for a second before running after her.
‘Ankita , What happened. Why are you avoiding me.’
‘I......don t want to speak to you. Please leave me alone’ Her voice sounded heavy
I caught her hand and pulled ,she swirled around and faced me.
“why’
‘ I feel akward. I made a fool of myself. I......’
‘That’s ok’
I moved forward and hugged her.We stood silently for some time.
‘ How did you know my answer is an yes’ she stood staring with a questioning eye.
I was speechless.She laughed and ran away with a twinkle in the eyes. Only then did I realise she had accepted my proposal.
At around 3 pm,I got an sms .’Meet you in library after classes.luv u ,Apps(I know U address me like this, though you have never told it to me even once).’
I waited till the classes were over. She was waiting at Financial Management section. I went there. She smiled and turned as if rummaging for a book.
“are you searching for any special book”
“Obviously,You know am waiting for you.Then.....’
‘ Why this library”
She giggled and went about rummaging again
Apps took a book and sat down . Rohan took a magazine.Thay chatted away for an hour or two little realising that it’s her parents strict order to be in the hostel by 6 pm.
They talked about everything under the sky except about themselves.
Later she returned to the hostel and the talks went over by sms. Dinner times had long gone by ,both of them never realised though roommates had reminded them.
Weekend they planned an outing along with friends, a movie and hanging around in the mall , they spend the entire day .Rohan was pampering Apps with all the goodies he found.Apps was enjoying every moment. Was this the life she craved for, Apps was ecstatic.
After few days Apps and Rohan went out alone as friends suggested “to know each other well”. They travelled the length and breadth of the city .Rohan was fully devoted to Apps that he rarely saw the scenic beauty. Apps was telling about her family ,her pets etc, Rohan liked the way she explained things and felt she is a attached to her family. Rohan told her about his parents and mainly his strict disciplinarian father.
‘Will he agree to our match. I hope he doesn‘t throw any tantrums.’
‘No , My mother will handle all that. I just have to convince her.’
Apps had doubts but she seemed relaxed at Rohan’s assurance. In her family that was not a problem, they will readily agree to this proposal.Her father had a liking towards Rohan from the first day, he usually enquires about him over phone. Often Apps had to try her best not to show emotions about Rohan over phone to her dad.
After the exams of 2nd semester, Rohan and Apps had taken a holiday at Goa, bunking from their homes.They had enjoyed the vacation exploring Goa and each other , thus bringing their relationship to another height. It was tough for Rohan to convince Apps for this journey but eventually she agreed. Those were the most memorable days ,they could imagine. Rohan treasured the photos and the moments were so romantic that he lived every moment again and again in his dreams , after they came back.
During the 3rd semester holidays, Rohan told his mother about their relationship.Amma had showed disagreement at first but after his repeated pleas gave in to it.Mr Sreedharan stormed the house and told at no cost he will allow a girl from other state to be his daughter in law.Rohan was devastated.
Days flew by,just before boarding the train back , he looked at his father and said’I will marry only her . it’s your wish either you agree or disagree. My decision is final. We would be happy if you would be beside me when I marry. Otherwise too I will marry her.’
Apps was waiting for Rohan. Though she was briefed on the proceedings over phone ,she wanted to hear everything live. Rohan came and sat next to Apps on the stone bench in front of their class.
“Acchan is adamant. He doesn’t understand. He never understood me. Everytime he forces things down my throat. Its hell man!’Rohan was in tears.
‘Its ok. By the end of the fourth sem he will agree.’Apps tried to console.
‘You don’t know him. He is stubborn. What if he never agrees? We will elope. Damn it, What to do’
‘Wait we have a whole sem with us. We will think about it later. Now tell did u miss me.I missed you so much’
‘No’
‘What’ Apps eyed were filling with tears.
‘Why. You know I did miss you. Apps , I am sorry.’
Eyes were brimming with tears, Apps got up to leave. Rohan pulled her back into his arms little realising this was the Special Officer’s Lecture hour.
Apps hugged Rohan expecting him to say something. But Rohan didn’t react. He was staring into SO’s eyes.
‘Oh Shit’
‘This is not permitted here. Do you understand’
Noding their heads they turned back and dashed into the classroom.
‘Real Guts man .That lady is a crap.Hope she leaves it with this.’Shameena said
SO entered the class. The hour went on rather silently .Everyone expected a lecture on the topic ‘how to behave in public.’ But she concentrated on the portions and finally a sigh of relief. She left.
During the study holidays, Apps came to the Boys hostel to study, a few hours with Rohan. But eventually the roommate left them alone as the hours extended to that whole night. Partly studying and partly enjoying the night went through.
Exams got over and both of them were placed in Top MNC’s .
Rohan again requested his father but the pleas fell on deaf ears.
Apps finally told her father about the situation. He intervened. Mr Chatterjee booked a flight to meet Mr Sreedharan in Thrissur.
Rohan landed home the day before Chatterjee was coming. His mother was scattering about asking the tastes of Bengali ,what to prepare, what not to and all. Rohan was scared of how his father may treat that man. Praying religiously, he fell asleep.
Early morning hearing the door bell Rohan sprang up. It may his future father in law. He peeped from the balcony and missed a beat , that was him.
Rohan asked his mother to open the door and flew into the bathroom. Within ten minutes he was downstairs. raising an eyebrow he asked his mother. She pointed to the closed library.
‘Bhayankara Discussion aanne. They both are in there. Ankita and You are getting married right. What they are discussing there. Ennike manasilakunnilla, ‘Amma remarked with a chuckle. Rohan smiled at her.
After an hour they both came out. Mr Chatterjee winked at Rohan, Acchan was having a crack jack expression, Though he smiled outwardly.
‘We are planning to go forward with this marriage as you both seemed to give us no choice.’
‘Next week your parents are coming to Kolkata to discuss the other prospects.’
Rohan stood simply and stared at them.Was this a dream or are they really speaking.
Acchan tapped on his shoulder only then Rohan realised it was a reality.
After a few turns of visits, Rohan and Ankita got married in the both the customs once as Bengali then as malayali.
Sitting in his room after all the customs waiting for his sweetheart, Rohan felt all is well that ends well.
Hearing the door open and lo behold his wife in traditional kerala saree with a glass of milk.
‘Apps, was this needed’
‘No one knows our first night was over long before. Your cousins grilled me , i told am very traditional and never will do anything like that .Howzzat.’
Laughing loudly he pulled her into his arms carefully seeing the milk didn’t spill over.

Author:Mrs Schabna Manilal